I have this certain close friend who I will never forget. We were still in our first quarter in sixth grade when their family decided to go to Manila and stay there. Of course, as close pals we were sad that we won’t be hearing from each other in awhile (no cell phones, no YM, no FS. NO NOTHING). She gathered all her closest friends in their house before the day that they would be leaving. We talked, laughed and promised each other that nothing would change. Before we said our goodbyes, she started handing out letters. She gave me one too. There’s this line in from letter that she gave me that I’ll never forget. She said, “Life is an onion: we peel it off on layer at a time and sometimes we weep while doing this.”
Social Penetration Theory was formulated by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor. The authors describe the personality of each person as a multilayered onion. Each layer has a different secret and story that is waiting to be peeled or penetrated. We don’t directly open up and share our stories to any person we meet in a street. We don’t go, “’Hi, I’m Iva! My parents just got divorced!” or “Hi! My favorite color is Magenta!” Opening up takes a lot of time and this theory somehow explains how each layer of our multilayered personality peels off and its process.
We tend to open our secrets or our life stories to those people who we are comfortable with. Those that we think that can do us no harm or those people whom we build a close relationship already. Every time this relationship goes deeper the more topics you’ve talked about and shared with each other. The authors of this theory gave an example, an onion and a wedge. The onion would represent us and the wedge would be the person you’re building a new relationship with. So each time this wedge goes deeper inside the onion, the more layers it has passed. Moreover, the wedge has pierced a large part already in the onion. In the same way, if we open up to one person, we allow them to go deeper and let them explore our lives. Every time we allow a person to know us more, we should be cautious to what we are divulging. Not all stories should be told.
This theory somehow helped me understand why I tell my friends certain things, but I don’t tell it to my other friends( even though I have a tight relationship to both of them). To tell you honestly, I am not a what-you-see-is-what-you-get. I my look like one, but I’m not. I may look a shallow pond, but I am a sea waiting to be explored.
Social Penetration Theory was formulated by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor. The authors describe the personality of each person as a multilayered onion. Each layer has a different secret and story that is waiting to be peeled or penetrated. We don’t directly open up and share our stories to any person we meet in a street. We don’t go, “’Hi, I’m Iva! My parents just got divorced!” or “Hi! My favorite color is Magenta!” Opening up takes a lot of time and this theory somehow explains how each layer of our multilayered personality peels off and its process.
We tend to open our secrets or our life stories to those people who we are comfortable with. Those that we think that can do us no harm or those people whom we build a close relationship already. Every time this relationship goes deeper the more topics you’ve talked about and shared with each other. The authors of this theory gave an example, an onion and a wedge. The onion would represent us and the wedge would be the person you’re building a new relationship with. So each time this wedge goes deeper inside the onion, the more layers it has passed. Moreover, the wedge has pierced a large part already in the onion. In the same way, if we open up to one person, we allow them to go deeper and let them explore our lives. Every time we allow a person to know us more, we should be cautious to what we are divulging. Not all stories should be told.
This theory somehow helped me understand why I tell my friends certain things, but I don’t tell it to my other friends( even though I have a tight relationship to both of them). To tell you honestly, I am not a what-you-see-is-what-you-get. I my look like one, but I’m not. I may look a shallow pond, but I am a sea waiting to be explored.
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